10 Tips For A Christ Centered Marriage

From day one of our relationship, Kevin and I have always been on the same page about wanting a Christ Centered Marriage. I choose God's perfect plan for my marriage. This might seem "weird" to you; it might be "unpopular" and even "old-fashioned".
But, the Bible tells us that God is the same God today, yesterday, and forever. And his take on marriage is perfect in every way, because He is perfect in every way. His wisdom and understanding is so much deeper than we can even imagine. And, he has shared this with us through His Word. He has given us a guide for our lives and our marriages.

1. Be Best Friends

Stay best friends. Be a safe place for each other to come home and share things with. Confide in each other, have fun with each other, help each other - be your husbands #1 fan.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! - Ecclesiastics 4:9-10

2. Act Silly

Some of the most memorable times I have had with my husband are when we are acting ridiculous. Laughter is never short in our household and I love this about our marriage. I think laughter is so good for you.

Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. - Proverbs 5:18

3. Appreciate Your Spouse

It is so easy to become negative and only think about ways our spouse can improve. I wrote a post a while back, My Husband Is Awesome... Even When He's Not. I think it is good focus on things you are grateful for that your husband does for you. Appreciating your husband and letting him know how thankful you are for him can go a long way.

I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers - Ephesians 1:16.

4. Don't Nag

No one likes a nag. I have to admit - I nag Kevin. If he reads this, he will be sure to rub it in that I admitted this. You are not in your husband life to mold him into who you want him to be. He is not yours to fix and change. Just because you really want him to stop leaving his shoes in the middle of the floor doesn't mean that is what he is suppose to do.

It is not up to us to "change" our husbands, it is up to God. God might not want him to change in this area of his life. I know its so easy to pray "God, make my husband pick up his stuff.. and do this.. and do this.." but those are honestly selfish prayers. It is not up to us; we should pray something like this " God, you know that it frustrates me that my husband does_____ but I know that only by your will and power will this change. I place it in your hands". Now, this is really hard for me. I am a perfectionist, I like things my way. I have had to really work on this area of my life.

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm - Proverbs 27:15

5. Be Respectful

God is a God of grace and understanding beyond what we can fathom. In the same way, we should extend this grace to others. We might not agree with our husband 100% of the time, but should show him respect. In today's world, what does this even mean? Read this post I wrote a while back about practical ways to respect your husband. And remember, we are commanded of this:

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. - Ephesians 5:33

6. Always Build Up

Praise your husband, verbally and publicly. For things he as done in the past and the present. You have no idea how far an "I'm proud of you" will go. The world and others tear us down enough, be his biggest encouragement and constant source of kindness.

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing- 1 Thessalonians 5:11

7. Serve Without Expectations

Marriage isn't always going to be equal. Some weeks, you might feel like you are carrying 75% of the burden, and some weeks your husband might feel that way. Love isn't about keeping track of who did the dishes when, or cleaned the house last. These things can come in-between your marriage so quickly. It is easy to become prideful in who did this and who did that. But remember that Christ loves us unconditionally and that is how we are called to love.

"love is not self-seeking.." - 1 Corinthians 13:5

8. Communicate {no distractions}

Let's face it, we are busy. Its to easy to let little things slip because we have had a long day or don't feel like talking. But we must make it a priority to communicate. Kevin and I have decided to spend nights without other distractions and just focus on each other. Make dinner together, talk to each other, read the bible together, go outside... anything. & Honestly, we have had some amazing conversations just talking to each other. No cell phones or tv people. Just talk to eachother.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. - Ephesians 4:29

9. Read Together

Read your bible together, study together, grow together. Our goal is to read the bible together every night, does this happen every night - no - but it is our desire. We want to learn more about Christ and grow together. We want to invest in our relationship with each other and most importantly with God. I really encourage this, not only reading, but discussing what you are reading.

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. - Joshua 1:8

10. Pray for each other and with each other

Prayer is one of the most powerful and meaningful things we can do for our marriage. Not only are we told to pray in scripture--we're told to pray without ceasing. I want to be a praying wife. I want to cover my husband in prayer, a few weeks ago, I wrote this post about verses to pray over your husband and it has been such a great guide for me. There is also great value in praying together. I know that if you haven't done this a lot in your relationship, it can be awkward. Lets be honest, you are baring your sole and confessing your sins during prayer. You are talking to a holy God who is all knowing and all powerful. This makes prayer very intimate and vulnerable, so of course, it can be a bit of a struggle to do this with someone else at first. But, trust me, it is powerful.

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Okay, so what makes this type of marriage different? You could be best friends with your husband with or without Christ. You could be respectful to your husband out of loyalty. The difference is, the way we view this type of love as an extension of our love of Christ.

Our love of Christ should be the out pour of our hearts; We don't love our husbands because its convenient or because its easy. Love is a commitment that we made and a covenant with Christ. Honestly, for me, my marriage has been "easy and fun" so far. But my prayer is that, when the going gets tough that we lean on God's wisdom instead of our own.

- Simply Clarke